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Post by mystic on Aug 19, 2016 13:25:11 GMT -8
Latest update guys, I have told Jane that my priorities are to do God's will first, take care of my son 2nd so if I am to have a relationship with her or anyone else, my personal life will rank a distant 3rd on my priorities list. I realize doing this was kinda harsh but it seems to be the only way I can get her to do what her pastor and a friend of mine had suggested in the beginning which was to cut off ALL men in her life and seek God first and foremost. When she gets to that point where she doesn't need a man in her life to make her happy then she could address her personal life.
See what I see she was doing was simply trading one man for another by wanting to end the relationship with her BF to pick up where we left off and that wasn't the plan or the goal. I will be praying for her to stick with the plan but I don't expect her to do so, if she doesn't seek God as first option then I'm afraid nothing I can do to help her.
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Post by mystic on Aug 22, 2016 3:20:42 GMT -8
Hahaha yeah sorry buddy, they do how ever say that a dog is ones best friend. I am getting myself a German Shepard when I am old lol Putting some thought into this kepha, any biblical opposition for a divorcee having a companion, without sex or marriage? Dan, I found this here, will look into it. www.shaaradonainyc.com/ |
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Post by kepha on Aug 22, 2016 3:39:05 GMT -8
Putting some thought into this kepha, any biblical opposition for a divorcee having a companion, without sex or marriage? Dan, I found this here, will look into it. www.shaaradonainyc.com/with out sex there is no sin in a friendship. If you really just companions. I don't know about any. |
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Post by mystic on Aug 22, 2016 4:20:30 GMT -8
So assuming you/me were to come across someone who we fall should for, are you saying it's ok to have a relationship [without sex] even though the physical lust will be present?
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Post by kepha on Aug 22, 2016 4:44:47 GMT -8
So assuming you/me were to come across someone who we fall should for, are you saying it's ok to have a relationship [without sex] even though the physical lust will be present? Now there are the question, are we really strong enough to overcome the lust? The relationship I am talking about is companionship with no lusty desires involved. I had a Female friend and we were also just friends, she was living with this man for years, both were also divorce. He never wanted to marry again or have a relationship and she neither. Yet they stayed together in one house as companions and they raised her children as a family even though there were nothing physical between them and of course they had separate bedrooms as well but they did everything as a family. All I am saying is I don't know of any thing in scripture that says that it is wrong, the wrong comes in with the out of marriage sex and remarrying again. Hopes this helps. PS. yes they also made the children understand from young they are not married like their friends parents. |
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Post by kepha on Aug 22, 2016 4:51:47 GMT -8
Just another thing I might add here. I have learned in these past months that lust comes from your thoughts and if you can learn how to control your thoughts it helps a lot.
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Post by mystic on Aug 22, 2016 6:11:17 GMT -8
Yes, controlling lust is a very serious issue and not at all easy to do. I pray for it to be removed every single day but as stated, not easy to avoid. Also living here in the heart of New york and especially during the summer months where a lot of women wear next to nothing, that certainly doesn't help.
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Post by kepha on Aug 22, 2016 7:16:00 GMT -8
Truly I know your pain
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Post by alon on Aug 22, 2016 8:03:49 GMT -8
Just a few problems:
Men are more physical. We respond very quickly to what we see, so lust is very difficult to control at times. Me, I see it, I think it, and it is difficult to forget.
Women need relationship more. Living in the situation where a man and woman are raising children together but not having marital relations gives a very one sided picture of what God intended (if indeed they are able to not have relations).
Then there is this:
1 Thessalonians 5:22 (NASB) abstain from every form [Or appearance] of evil.
Unmarried and living together certainly gives the appearance of living in sin.
So again I would say this is a mess which needs someone qualified to unravel.
Dan C
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Post by mystic on Aug 22, 2016 11:18:11 GMT -8
I am not sure if both Rabbi's I have found in NY is "qualified" when i look at their bio. What I had expected was to find a Rabbi who were born and raised in a messianic home. Instead I found the Rabbi's had gone down the wrong path in their younger days then turned to the bible. Now this raises the question, are they both knowledgeable and experienced enough to be giving advice on very complex matters?
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Post by alon on Aug 22, 2016 11:39:09 GMT -8
I am not sure if both Rabbi's I have found in NY is "qualified" when i look at their bio. What I had expected was to find a Rabbi who were born and raised in a messianic home. Instead I found the Rabbi's had gone down the wrong path in their younger days then turned to the bible. Now this raises the question, are they both knowledgeable and experienced enough to be giving advice on very complex matters?
There are very, very few Messianic Rabbis who were raised in a Messianic home. And even if they were, our understanding as Messianics has grown so much over the last 40 yrs that being raised as Messianic would not necessarily guarantee their knowledge base. Furthermore, some of the most zealous rabbis strayed for a time and found out that, hey, this God feller knew what He was talking about! So I wouldn't say that disqualifies them. Instead, there are a few things to look at:
Doctrine- are they  observant? Do they teach others to be TO? And do they say Yeshua was, is and always will be Eternal God? Any "no" answers there and you need to leave.
Education- how much education does he have? Where did he get it? And this doesn't need to be formal as far as his Messianic training. There are a lot of courses and programs out there which provide information and training. The main thing is, is he knowledgeable?
Affiliation- he should be under an umbrella organization which would serve to keep him doctrinally on track and sound. This goes for his synagogue as well as wherever he got his education. Check them out and see if they are sound. Some are Two House, Sacred Names, polygamist cults ... it runs the gamut from these to just Baptists in a tallit and kippah. Take some time and research both their synagogue and the parent organization. Ask here if you are not sure about anything.
And nobody is perfect. You are new to this, and we here are still learning. So while there are some absolutes like I have listed, there may be some gray areas. If he is truly called to be a Messianic Rabbi, he will still be studying and learning too.
Good luck! And trust me, most here wish they had your problem sorting out which synagogue to attend!
Dan C
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Post by mystic on Aug 23, 2016 3:29:30 GMT -8
Thanks. There are two I am finding on the net, one is here in Manhattan but I just don't know if I can be confident in him as a Rabbi? www.shaaradonainyc.com/about/ |
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Post by mystic on Aug 23, 2016 3:35:56 GMT -8
You not going to like what I have to say. The marriage covenant is a Blood covenant (blood of a virgin) made between you and your spouse before the Father. Our Father is a Father of covenants and if we make a covenant we can not break the covenant. I am also divorce so I know the problem here. The fact remains we made a covenant TILL DEATH do as part. If you divorce, you only divorce in the world and not before Elohim, it is a covenant till we die. We do get forgiveness for the fact that we got divorce, but that in now way release us or breaks the covenant we made with our partner before OUR FATHER. The covenant is still very alive. Therefore we are not allowed to remarry if you are divorce. That is the reason why we must be careful to vow, because if we can't keep that vow......ask Yisra'el what happens. I know all the arguments and heard them many times before, The Father don't want anybody to be alone and on on on. Our FATHER is not a respecter of man get that very clear. If you end up alone because of your own choices do not blame HIM or try to make His Will according to yours. We have to fear HIM. The fact is we made a covenant before HIM as our witness till death. Sorry but that is the truth. Kepha, let me revisit this issue of "not being divorced in God's eyes" please. Jews are allowed to divorce [according to them] so why not gentiles? Also, since God said we are to obey the laws of the land then why when we get divorced would this be against his will? |
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Post by kepha on Aug 23, 2016 8:43:28 GMT -8
Ok where to begin. There are so many verses in the Scripture that shows what a abomination it is before Father YHWH. And remember it was given to us as well as the Jews and Israelite's In the one may give your wife a letter of divorce ( separation), that is true, no where does it say that we are allowed to re marry no on the contrary . What their tradition was that they could put their wife out of their house (separation), as to not live with her anymore. If you how ever read further about this in Scripture you will see it says that if such a man/woman would re-marry or go in the bed of another man/woman both of them are equally responsible to adultery. Luk_16:18 Everyone divorcing his wife, and marrying another, commits adultery. And everyone marrying her who has been divorced from a husband commits adultery. (out of the mouth of our own Master Yeshua.) Deu 24:1 When a man has taken a wife and married her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found a thing of uncleanness in her, and he writes her a bill of divorce and puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house; Deu 24:2 and if she goes out from his house and goes and becomes another man's wife, Deu 24:3 and the latter husband hates her, and writes her a bill of divorce, and puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house or if the latter husband who took her to be his wife dies; Deu 24:4 her former husband who sent her away is not to take her again to be his wife, after she is defiled. For it is an abomination before YHWH, and you shall not cause the land to sin which YHWH your Elohim is giving to you as an inheritance.° Deuteronomy 24:2 (370) This chapter is not condoning the practice of divorce, but is warning the woman not to leave even if the husband serves her a paper of divorce, as if she left and went to become another man's wife she could never come back to her first husband (Jer_3:1). This is a shadow of the New Covenant as if someone is baptized and has hands laid on them to join the New Covenant and become the bride of Messiah and then they would leave and turn his/her back on Yeshua, they can never return again and have blasphemed YHWH's spirit. Heb_6:4-6 (Malachi 2:14) Yet you say, On what cause? Because YHWH has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously; and she is your companion and your covenant wife. (Malachi 2:15) And has He not made you one (echad)? Yet the remainder of the Spirit is in him. And what of the one? He was seeking a seed of Elohim. Then guard your spirit, and do not deal treacherously with the wife of your youth. (Malachi 2:16) YHWH, the Elohim of Israel, says, He hates divorce, and to cover with violence on his garment, says YHWH of Hosts. Then guard your spirit and do not act treacherously. (HRB Notes) Mal 2:16 (1517) Verses 14-16, Elohim is also rebuking the people for divorcing their spouses, in which He states that He hates divorce. Marriage is a sacred covenant that once entered into only the death of one partner can dissolve the agreement, Mar_10:2-12, Gen_2:24. Num 30:2 When a man vows a vow to YHWH, or has sworn an oath to bind his soul with a bond, he shall not break his word; he shall do all that has gone out of his mouth. remarry 1Co 7:10 But I command the ones being married (not I, but our Master), let not the wife be separated from her husband; 1Co 7:11 but if indeed she is separated, remain unmarried, or be reconciled to the husband; and a husband not to dessert his wife. (2550) In cases were abuse or other vile sins are involved there is a clause for separation but never is it stated that a spouse can divorce and marry another person while the original spouse is still living. Modern Jews are also influenced by wrong teaching in some cases just like us? you will have to ask them for Yeshua self said differently.
P.s Interesting to note as well that in the days of when the law was given and even till Yeshua's time when a man would divorce a woman for example, she committed adultery with another man, she and the man she committed the sin with, was to be killed (stoned to death) and that freed the man to marry then again. Now today we are not allowed to kill people any more so we never get freed from the covenant made till death. It sounds harsh but it is the facts. Because I am divorced, I made a actual study of this to find out if I am allowed to remarry. That is why I told you this. |
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Post by mystic on Aug 23, 2016 11:23:28 GMT -8
Yes, all of those scriptures tell the story, I can see you did your homework on this. So no sex or wife for me for the rest of my life, don't know what to say.
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to suit ourselves.
