Post by R' Y'hoshua Moshe on Mar 2, 2007 12:57:42 GMT -8
I thought this was funny. Please forgive me in advance if it offends anyone...
Looking for a Wife?[/u]
Author Unknown
Top 15 Biblical Ways to Find a Wife:
1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours. (Deuteronomy 21:10-13)
2. Find a prostitute and marry her. (Hosea 1:1-3)
3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. (Moses; Exodus 2:16-21)
4. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. (Boaz; Ruth 4:5-10)
5. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. (Benjamites; Judges 21:19-25)
6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. (Adam; Genesis 2:19-24)
7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman’s hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. (Jacob; Genesis 29:15-30)
8. Cut 200 foreskins of your future father-in-law’s enemies and get his daughter for a wife. (David; I Samuel 18:27)
9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you’ll definitely find someone. It’s all relative, of course. (Cain; Genesis 4:16-17)
10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. (Xerxes; Esther 2:3-3)
11. Kill her husband and take her as your wife (prepare to lose 4 sons, though). (David; 2 Samuel)
12. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, “I have seen a woman…now get her for me as a wife.” If your parents question your decision, simply say, “Get her for me. She’s the one for me.” (Samson; Judges 14:1-3)
13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (Onan; Genesis 39:8)
14. Don’t be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. (Solomon; 1 Kings 11:1-3)
15. A wife?…not!!! (Paul; 1 Corinthians 7:31-35)
On the other hand, maybe if you asked the Lord to lead you to the right woman – he would!
Just remember – be not unequally yoked together…. if she doesn’t serve the Lord with all her heart - forget it!
Don’t ever date anyone you could not marry.
Marry someone you can easily talk to and laugh with – beauty fades, money is lost but true love and friendship never leaves…
Looking for a Wife?[/u]
Author Unknown
Top 15 Biblical Ways to Find a Wife:
1. Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours. (Deuteronomy 21:10-13)
2. Find a prostitute and marry her. (Hosea 1:1-3)
3. Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock. (Moses; Exodus 2:16-21)
4. Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. (Boaz; Ruth 4:5-10)
5. Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. (Benjamites; Judges 21:19-25)
6. Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. (Adam; Genesis 2:19-24)
7. Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman’s hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. (Jacob; Genesis 29:15-30)
8. Cut 200 foreskins of your future father-in-law’s enemies and get his daughter for a wife. (David; I Samuel 18:27)
9. Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you’ll definitely find someone. It’s all relative, of course. (Cain; Genesis 4:16-17)
10. Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. (Xerxes; Esther 2:3-3)
11. Kill her husband and take her as your wife (prepare to lose 4 sons, though). (David; 2 Samuel)
12. When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, “I have seen a woman…now get her for me as a wife.” If your parents question your decision, simply say, “Get her for me. She’s the one for me.” (Samson; Judges 14:1-3)
13. Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (Onan; Genesis 39:8)
14. Don’t be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. (Solomon; 1 Kings 11:1-3)
15. A wife?…not!!! (Paul; 1 Corinthians 7:31-35)
On the other hand, maybe if you asked the Lord to lead you to the right woman – he would!
Just remember – be not unequally yoked together…. if she doesn’t serve the Lord with all her heart - forget it!
Don’t ever date anyone you could not marry.
Marry someone you can easily talk to and laugh with – beauty fades, money is lost but true love and friendship never leaves…
