Post by Shiloah on Jun 17, 2005 3:13:28 GMT -8
I was raised in a nominal christian home but never heard the gospel until I was in my mid teens. My parents never went to church, they thought I could make up my own mind when I was old enough. I guess I lived a fairly average life, my folks were good working class people, who encouraged clean living, no swearing or smoking or drinking to excess. But as I got older, I knew there had to be more to life.
I came to know the L-rd through some christians on campus when I was at college. One of them talked a lot about G-d's plans for Israel. That was how I first heard that Israel was G-d's chosen people, and that one day "all Israel will be saved". At the time I read the scriptures from the Old Testament and New Testament, and was really amazed at all the prophecies that were fulfilled by Yeshua.
When I was twenty I moved away from my family interstate 500 miles away. I met my husband, we married in '83, about the time I was working for an organisation that had Jewish Evangelism as it's goal.
However, I did not realise that the pastor of the church we were attending had some strong views on this. One week he took me and my husband aside and told us in no uncertain terms we shouldn't be involved in this Jewish thing, because G-d has finished with the Jews, the covenants now belong to the church, etc etc. This pastor was very dynamic, charismatic if you like. I was young and fairly insecure, despite the work G-d had already done in my life. I decided that maybe I had been wrong, I felt so confused. I turned away from what I believe was probably a calling from the L-rd, I left the organisation and stopped listening to Messianic music. I let it all go. What was bad, was that a leader of the organisation rang me and said words to the effect that I would be cursed, because "I will bless those that bless you, and curse those that curse you". Yet in my heart I know that I was not cursing the Jewish people.
I felt that the two viewpoints couldn't both be right.
Well, the years passed. We had two children, boys, born to us in '87 and '90. Our second born son was born blind. It nearly broke our hearts, as I searched for "why". However, we have been really blessed through having him, he is very special, and has some unique giftings. But at the time, the same pastor gave us the "These things shouldn't happen to Christians" talk, and that was because he and the church were into prosperity gospel teaching, so if we had a problem, it was because we didn't have enough faith.
We finally left, and as it was a very small church, this was hard. They felt more like family, so it was a very difficult time. We started going to an Anglican church, at a time when the whole church was being touched by the Holy Spirit. We learnt some fundamentals about how G-d heals the hurts we carry over the years, about forgiveness and other things. It was an amazing time.
Then in 1999 I had a strange experience. We were on a family holiday near a rugged stretch of coastline. It was dusk, and we were driving back to our motel, with the sea on one side, and way off in the distance I could see huge storm clouds gathering. I fancied in my mind that I could imagine angels dancing across the tops of these clouds, it was such a magnificent sight. Just then I heard this awesome, melodious sound "oh-ahhhhhhhh" again "oh-ahhhhhhhhhh" and then "oh- ah-ah-ah-ah-ah" sort of broken up. I turned to my husband, to ask him if he had heard it, but he hadn't. I said I am sure I heard this, and I described it to him. I had goosebumps, and a strange feeling of an impending event.
After we returned from this holiday things changed for us, I began homeschooling my eldest son, (which I never thought I would be doing). At church, a group who were against the Holy Spirit's moving, turned against the minister, he ended up leaving, and things were never the same again. It was like the lovely sense of the Holy Spirit brooding over the place was gone.
Then, in 2000 I went to a big convention where thousands of Christians had gathered and the theme was prophecy. Somebody there had a Shofar, and they played it on the last night. Then, I knew, that I knew, that I knew I had heard the Shofar of the L-rd on that day back in '99. What was G-d saying?
Six months later I was diagnosed with gynocological cancer and had a complete hysterectomy, followed by six months chemo. It was an absolutely terrible time, but I clung on to G-d.
I realised I haven't spoken much directly of my husband. He is a very godly, discerning, albeit introverted loner type of person. I am more of the quick tempered, speak now, think later type!
More of the extrovert, too. We are quite a combination together. Funny how G-d does these things.
Anyway, my illness, on top of having a son who can't see, I think has made him (and me) wonder where G-d is in it all. It is easy to be discouraged when life deals you some heavy blows. Appreciate your prayers on this one!
It was after this, that I began to notice I no longer wanted to "do" church. I would wake up many mornings at 4 a.m. and sit on our decking in the moonlight, crying out to the L-rd "What do you want of me?" combined with prayers of love, worship and thanksgiving for preserving my life. I began hating religious services, like Easter and Christmas, and other times which seemed so dead to me. I thought maybe I was going out of my mind, losing my faith. At Christmas, I would try so hard to think about the babe in the manger, but it just didn't ring true with me. Something had happened, but I didn't know what was going on! Towards the end of 2004, we had virtually stopped going to the church, just going like once a month.
At the beginning of 2005, I was surfing on the internet and came across the concept of keeping sabbath as the seventh day. Something went "click" inside me. That has led to a complete overhaul of what I believed. It has been an amazing time. We now attend a Messianic fellowship. And Jewish evangelism is a goal there, so it feels a bit like coming full circle.
I read somewhere recently that the Shofar is blown to awaken the camp, to say to the children of Israel "Strike the Camp! It is time, time to move out!" And that is what I believe the L-rd was saying to me. I believe there is a work of the Holy Spirit, Ruach HaKodesh, afoot to alert and hone those who have ears to hear. Blessed is His Name! He has sustained me, and I am today healed. There is a blessing in Hebrew that goes something like "Blessed are You, L-rd our G-d, King of the Universe,....You have preserved us to this Season", that is my testimony.
I came to know the L-rd through some christians on campus when I was at college. One of them talked a lot about G-d's plans for Israel. That was how I first heard that Israel was G-d's chosen people, and that one day "all Israel will be saved". At the time I read the scriptures from the Old Testament and New Testament, and was really amazed at all the prophecies that were fulfilled by Yeshua.
When I was twenty I moved away from my family interstate 500 miles away. I met my husband, we married in '83, about the time I was working for an organisation that had Jewish Evangelism as it's goal.
However, I did not realise that the pastor of the church we were attending had some strong views on this. One week he took me and my husband aside and told us in no uncertain terms we shouldn't be involved in this Jewish thing, because G-d has finished with the Jews, the covenants now belong to the church, etc etc. This pastor was very dynamic, charismatic if you like. I was young and fairly insecure, despite the work G-d had already done in my life. I decided that maybe I had been wrong, I felt so confused. I turned away from what I believe was probably a calling from the L-rd, I left the organisation and stopped listening to Messianic music. I let it all go. What was bad, was that a leader of the organisation rang me and said words to the effect that I would be cursed, because "I will bless those that bless you, and curse those that curse you". Yet in my heart I know that I was not cursing the Jewish people.
I felt that the two viewpoints couldn't both be right.
Well, the years passed. We had two children, boys, born to us in '87 and '90. Our second born son was born blind. It nearly broke our hearts, as I searched for "why". However, we have been really blessed through having him, he is very special, and has some unique giftings. But at the time, the same pastor gave us the "These things shouldn't happen to Christians" talk, and that was because he and the church were into prosperity gospel teaching, so if we had a problem, it was because we didn't have enough faith.
We finally left, and as it was a very small church, this was hard. They felt more like family, so it was a very difficult time. We started going to an Anglican church, at a time when the whole church was being touched by the Holy Spirit. We learnt some fundamentals about how G-d heals the hurts we carry over the years, about forgiveness and other things. It was an amazing time.
Then in 1999 I had a strange experience. We were on a family holiday near a rugged stretch of coastline. It was dusk, and we were driving back to our motel, with the sea on one side, and way off in the distance I could see huge storm clouds gathering. I fancied in my mind that I could imagine angels dancing across the tops of these clouds, it was such a magnificent sight. Just then I heard this awesome, melodious sound "oh-ahhhhhhhh" again "oh-ahhhhhhhhhh" and then "oh- ah-ah-ah-ah-ah" sort of broken up. I turned to my husband, to ask him if he had heard it, but he hadn't. I said I am sure I heard this, and I described it to him. I had goosebumps, and a strange feeling of an impending event.
After we returned from this holiday things changed for us, I began homeschooling my eldest son, (which I never thought I would be doing). At church, a group who were against the Holy Spirit's moving, turned against the minister, he ended up leaving, and things were never the same again. It was like the lovely sense of the Holy Spirit brooding over the place was gone.
Then, in 2000 I went to a big convention where thousands of Christians had gathered and the theme was prophecy. Somebody there had a Shofar, and they played it on the last night. Then, I knew, that I knew, that I knew I had heard the Shofar of the L-rd on that day back in '99. What was G-d saying?
Six months later I was diagnosed with gynocological cancer and had a complete hysterectomy, followed by six months chemo. It was an absolutely terrible time, but I clung on to G-d.
I realised I haven't spoken much directly of my husband. He is a very godly, discerning, albeit introverted loner type of person. I am more of the quick tempered, speak now, think later type!
More of the extrovert, too. We are quite a combination together. Funny how G-d does these things.Anyway, my illness, on top of having a son who can't see, I think has made him (and me) wonder where G-d is in it all. It is easy to be discouraged when life deals you some heavy blows. Appreciate your prayers on this one!
It was after this, that I began to notice I no longer wanted to "do" church. I would wake up many mornings at 4 a.m. and sit on our decking in the moonlight, crying out to the L-rd "What do you want of me?" combined with prayers of love, worship and thanksgiving for preserving my life. I began hating religious services, like Easter and Christmas, and other times which seemed so dead to me. I thought maybe I was going out of my mind, losing my faith. At Christmas, I would try so hard to think about the babe in the manger, but it just didn't ring true with me. Something had happened, but I didn't know what was going on! Towards the end of 2004, we had virtually stopped going to the church, just going like once a month.
At the beginning of 2005, I was surfing on the internet and came across the concept of keeping sabbath as the seventh day. Something went "click" inside me. That has led to a complete overhaul of what I believed. It has been an amazing time. We now attend a Messianic fellowship. And Jewish evangelism is a goal there, so it feels a bit like coming full circle.
I read somewhere recently that the Shofar is blown to awaken the camp, to say to the children of Israel "Strike the Camp! It is time, time to move out!" And that is what I believe the L-rd was saying to me. I believe there is a work of the Holy Spirit, Ruach HaKodesh, afoot to alert and hone those who have ears to hear. Blessed is His Name! He has sustained me, and I am today healed. There is a blessing in Hebrew that goes something like "Blessed are You, L-rd our G-d, King of the Universe,....You have preserved us to this Season", that is my testimony.
V' 
