- there are 70 faces to 
Post by alon on Nov 12, 2021 14:18:39 GMT -8
Most of you know I have been in the hospital with Covid the last several days. I am back home today, and wanted to share some of my experiences as they relate to us as believers. I was unvaxed, not as a political statement but just my personal information and circumstances at the time I thought warranted caution. I never lived in fear, trusting God. But part of that trust is He never promised I wouldn’t get it, just that if I did He would bless me in it. And as hard and difficult as this was, I have to say there were blessings you cannot imagine throughout the entire experience. That is what I want to relate to everyone, the blessings and the lessons I learned laying there with only God and the hospital staff.
The first I suppose is I have from long before Covid had DNR/AND orders in place. When a believer does that, he makes a covenant with his God, and you had better mean it! The smartest-thing I did was to immediately start praying for grace- grace to accept, grace to face the final choice with dignity, and grace to be at peace. I actually invoked those orders twice early in my stay, once I was sure could have been the end; and there was a peace that can only come from God with that decision. But let me say I am not so arrogant as to believe just because I did it once I can tell God “I got this, thanks for the help but …”.
Freidrich Nietzsce said "And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.” We don’t do that on our own power or strength. However one of the things I contemplated long on is that we have a promise, one that when we do look into the abyss, it shrinks back from us. The Psalmist wrote:
Psalm 116:36–6 (ESV)
The snares of death encompassed me; the pangs of Sheol laid hold on me; I suffered distress and anguish.
Then I called on the name of the Lord: “O Lord, I pray, deliver my soul!”
Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; our God is merciful.
The Lord preserves the simple; when I was brought low, he saved me.
This is how it is translated by most English Bibles. To our church fathers, most of whom were unrepentant pagans, death was being trussed like a pig for the (wrong) altar and thrown into the void, hoping God caught them instead of ha’satan. But look at how the “chords of death” is written in Hebrew: חבלי־מות, chevleh-mavet, which translates to the “umbilical chords of death.” This gives a whole new meaning to the scripture. The Rabbis saw this as one of the early promises of the resurrection, and I agree. It was an umbilical chord that brought us safely (though terrified) into this life, and the picture here is of a promise of new life with our God. That is a promise we as believers can count on. And I can only pray that I will have the grace to make this my last witness. But having come close, I can tell you it is not possible without the grace, mercy, and comfort of our God. Next I want to share a story of two (really three) witnesses. My son worked in a retail store during the first part of this Covid crises. The church here where my wife attends and I sometimes go can have over 200 people there on any given Sunday. Out of those, a handful got really politicized and radical about “their freedom,” forgetting others had the same freedom of choice. This is not a large town, and they are known as what i would say are otherwise really good Christians. But that is not how they are remembered by the unsaved there in that store. In their anger they forgot that freedom comes with responsibility- responsibility for each other and responsibility before God as witnesses. So now, their witness destroyed, what should they do? Well, since this is the third part of the story (sort of a sub-part to the point here), I well know what to do because my anger often gets the better of me too. The first step is to humble ourselves and apologize to those we have offended. So to anyone here I have ever been short with or spoken to in anger, I do most profoundly apologize. I was wrong, and I ask your forgiveness.
Next we go to God and admit we have sinned grievously before Him. Ask forgiveness and REPENT. That last part too often gets lost or forgotten, but it is crucial. I always ask help in overcoming, and I understand I will fail again at some point but it does get better as I go, for which I always give thanks.
What I have just done for the people I wronged is modeled that there is forgiveness and restoration in walking with our God. Maybe not as good as not having destroyed my witness in the first place, but for all I know someone needed that particular witness at that time. So how does this relate to my own illness? My daughter flew in from Hawaii to support her mom and me through the worst of this. After a few days I was able to talk on he phone, and she said she was sorry I had to go through this alone. But those same people who had been such a bad witness to my son were sincerely praying for me and supporting my family. I had Messianics, Jews, and Christians really from all over the world praying for me, and before anyone told me this I felt the weight of those prayers buoying me up at a time I really needed it. I was able to tell the staff later that anyone who did not think I felt those prayers was just not paying attention. Soe were, and being Christian themselves they knew. But I was also able to tell my daughter “I am not alone; far from it!” So to anyone who was praying for me, I want to thank you. I still covet your payers as I have a long road to recovery. But to be able to give that as a witness too was, and IS huge!
The lesson here I think is respect though. We are our brothers keeper, or his murderer as surely as we hit him with a stone. Freedom, true freedom says I can and will respect the other person’s choices. I will wear a mask to protect that person, whatever his reasons for wearing one. It says I can go unmasked among those who do not wear them, but if one person comes in and is masked he will not have to ask. I put mine on; or if I do not have it I will back off a respectful distance.
True freedom is acting responsibly and respectfully towards each other. We have the promise of chevleh-mavet, and that is what we need to be passing on. That is our witness before God and men.
The first I suppose is I have from long before Covid had DNR/AND orders in place. When a believer does that, he makes a covenant with his God, and you had better mean it! The smartest-thing I did was to immediately start praying for grace- grace to accept, grace to face the final choice with dignity, and grace to be at peace. I actually invoked those orders twice early in my stay, once I was sure could have been the end; and there was a peace that can only come from God with that decision. But let me say I am not so arrogant as to believe just because I did it once I can tell God “I got this, thanks for the help but …”.
Freidrich Nietzsce said "And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.” We don’t do that on our own power or strength. However one of the things I contemplated long on is that we have a promise, one that when we do look into the abyss, it shrinks back from us. The Psalmist wrote:
Psalm 116:36–6 (ESV)
The snares of death encompassed me; the pangs of Sheol laid hold on me; I suffered distress and anguish.
Then I called on the name of the Lord: “O Lord, I pray, deliver my soul!”
Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; our God is merciful.
The Lord preserves the simple; when I was brought low, he saved me.
This is how it is translated by most English Bibles. To our church fathers, most of whom were unrepentant pagans, death was being trussed like a pig for the (wrong) altar and thrown into the void, hoping God caught them instead of ha’satan. But look at how the “chords of death” is written in Hebrew: חבלי־מות, chevleh-mavet, which translates to the “umbilical chords of death.” This gives a whole new meaning to the scripture. The Rabbis saw this as one of the early promises of the resurrection, and I agree. It was an umbilical chord that brought us safely (though terrified) into this life, and the picture here is of a promise of new life with our God. That is a promise we as believers can count on. And I can only pray that I will have the grace to make this my last witness. But having come close, I can tell you it is not possible without the grace, mercy, and comfort of our God. Next I want to share a story of two (really three) witnesses. My son worked in a retail store during the first part of this Covid crises. The church here where my wife attends and I sometimes go can have over 200 people there on any given Sunday. Out of those, a handful got really politicized and radical about “their freedom,” forgetting others had the same freedom of choice. This is not a large town, and they are known as what i would say are otherwise really good Christians. But that is not how they are remembered by the unsaved there in that store. In their anger they forgot that freedom comes with responsibility- responsibility for each other and responsibility before God as witnesses. So now, their witness destroyed, what should they do? Well, since this is the third part of the story (sort of a sub-part to the point here), I well know what to do because my anger often gets the better of me too. The first step is to humble ourselves and apologize to those we have offended. So to anyone here I have ever been short with or spoken to in anger, I do most profoundly apologize. I was wrong, and I ask your forgiveness.
Next we go to God and admit we have sinned grievously before Him. Ask forgiveness and REPENT. That last part too often gets lost or forgotten, but it is crucial. I always ask help in overcoming, and I understand I will fail again at some point but it does get better as I go, for which I always give thanks.
What I have just done for the people I wronged is modeled that there is forgiveness and restoration in walking with our God. Maybe not as good as not having destroyed my witness in the first place, but for all I know someone needed that particular witness at that time. So how does this relate to my own illness? My daughter flew in from Hawaii to support her mom and me through the worst of this. After a few days I was able to talk on he phone, and she said she was sorry I had to go through this alone. But those same people who had been such a bad witness to my son were sincerely praying for me and supporting my family. I had Messianics, Jews, and Christians really from all over the world praying for me, and before anyone told me this I felt the weight of those prayers buoying me up at a time I really needed it. I was able to tell the staff later that anyone who did not think I felt those prayers was just not paying attention. Soe were, and being Christian themselves they knew. But I was also able to tell my daughter “I am not alone; far from it!” So to anyone who was praying for me, I want to thank you. I still covet your payers as I have a long road to recovery. But to be able to give that as a witness too was, and IS huge!
The lesson here I think is respect though. We are our brothers keeper, or his murderer as surely as we hit him with a stone. Freedom, true freedom says I can and will respect the other person’s choices. I will wear a mask to protect that person, whatever his reasons for wearing one. It says I can go unmasked among those who do not wear them, but if one person comes in and is masked he will not have to ask. I put mine on; or if I do not have it I will back off a respectful distance.
True freedom is acting responsibly and respectfully towards each other. We have the promise of chevleh-mavet, and that is what we need to be passing on. That is our witness before God and men.
