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Post by mystic on May 29, 2019 3:16:46 GMT -8
My Autistic son's 21st birthday party will be held on August 10, he told me this yesterday. Last year I did not have this problem since I started observing sabbath in January this year. My situation now is determining what I can and can't do for him.
I will have my friends from NJ and others around here filling in for me so just would like to go chat with them a little during the day every so often until Sabbath ends at 8.45. I won't be doing any work myself, I guess main issue will be can I be among them outside for a little while here and there during the day?
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Post by jimmie on May 29, 2019 7:56:11 GMT -8
Every time a birthday is mentioned or alluded to in the bible someone dies.
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Post by mystic on May 29, 2019 9:35:18 GMT -8
Hmnn, first time I am hearing of this, any link to that scripture please?
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Post by alon on May 29, 2019 12:56:52 GMT -8
Every time a birthday is mentioned or alluded to in the bible someone dies. Birthdays (the actual day) were noted for many reasons. Whoever was the oldest son got the double portion of inheritance. Eligability for Temple service or to go to war was determined by age. And many other reasons. But there is no command either to celebrate a birthday or not. However there are as jimmie says some bad examples when birthdays are celebrated: Genesis 40:20-22 (ESV) On the third day, which was Pharaoh's birthday, he made a feast for all his servants and lifted up the head of the chief cupbearer and the head of the chief baker among his servants. He restored the chief cupbearer to his position, and he placed the cup in Pharaoh's hand. But he hanged the chief baker, as Joseph had interpreted to them.
Job 1:4-5 (ESV) His sons used to go and hold a feast in the house of each one on his day, and they would send and invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them. And when the days of the feast had run their course, Job would send and consecrate them, and he would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all. For Job said, “It may be that my children have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts.” Thus Job did continually.
Job thought his children may have inadvertantly cursed God by celebrating "on his day," meaning his birthday. Recall it was at one of these celebrations the building collapsed and killed all his children. Matthew 14:6-11 (ESV) But when Herod's birthday came, the daughter of Herodias danced before the company and pleased Herod, so that he promised with an oath to give her whatever she might ask. Prompted by her mother, she said, “Give me the head of John the Baptist here on a platter.” And the king was sorry, but because of his oaths and his guests he commanded it to be given. He sent and had John beheaded in the prison, and his head was brought on a platter and given to the girl, and she brought it to her mother.
Those are the examples I can think of. Maybe jimmie has more. There's also this: 1 Corinthians 10:31 (ESV) So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
Kind of hard to glorify God and celebrate yourself. But ...You have a special case. Your son is autistic. I think the higher question here is "How will it effect him?" How will he take it if you are not there? Will it put him in a depressed state, altering his level of functioning even for a while? I can't answer that, and even you can only make an educated guess. And I can't give a definitive answer whether or not you should attend the party. Again, that's up to you. But that is my opinion that if your attendance would benefit an autistic child (even though he is a man, he's still your child), then I'd say go to the party. Again, just my opinion. But we can be too dogmatic and rigid at times, and in Judaism the higher mitzvah is almost always to take care of the health (physical and mental) of yourself and yours. Dan C |
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Post by mystic on May 30, 2019 3:29:14 GMT -8
Thanks, yes I can see the reasoning behind Jimmie's words and I have always believed that yes celebrating one's self is wrong.
However in my circle of friends and relatives and everyone in this household, they are all big on birthdays and if I don't say Happy Birthday to them, it becomes an issue, do you guys wish people Happy Birthday?
Regarding my son, reason why I make an exception for him is yes, due to his mental situation. Ever since he went through hell 5 years ago with all of the mental hospitalizations and coming close to losing him, my goal has always been to do whatever I can to help him to be happy. He very eagerly always looks forward to having a birthday party each year but what I like about this is he doesn't do it for himself but rather he sees it as a way to have fun with his friends. Mike goes all out to please his friends, he spends a lot of money to give his friends the best of everything on that day so it's not all about self.
Also each year I ask God to forgive me if I am doing anything wrong by helping mike celebrate his birthday and I ask God to give us the resources, finance and help for mike to have a happy successful birthday celebration and HE HAS ALWAYS DELIVERED! Whether you guys want to believe that or not is up to you but the way things have unfolded each year with whatever obstacles we faced God has always come through for us.
One very specific situation is always at the back of my mind. On Mike's 17th birthday it was the hottest weekend of the year and the weather report had predicted major thunderstorms for our area. I remember telling one of my buds who had come up here for the weekend from NJ to help that I have prayed and asked God to protect us from the bad weather to let Mike have a successful day.
2 things happened that Saturday, the weather did go over the 100 degrees as was projected but for some reason it was just comfortably hot so was not as overbearing as was predicted. Main situation though was that there were thunderstorms all around my area as predicted but none over my neighborhood the entire day. One of my friends who was driving up from Brooklyn said to me he was totally surprised that he was driving through rain from Brooklyn which is next to where we are in Queens but no thunderstorms in my neighborhood.
Now what does that mean, that God heard and answer my prayers and that he answers my prayers every year for Mike's Birthday celebrations or is he also blessing Mike on that day? Of course no one has the answer to this but I have to go by what I see and the way things develop.
So for this birthday I will help arrange things and help for mike asking God to do the usual just my worry is while they are partying in the backyard, should I stay inside the house and not spend a little time with them outside here and there for a few or would need to stay inside the house until 8.45, that is what I will need to figure out.
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Post by jimmie on May 30, 2019 8:54:36 GMT -8
One way to remove the spot light from an individual and place it on God is to put the following to a tune and sing in replacement of the happy birthday song.
Psalms 119:84 How many are the days of thy servant?
Psalms 119:84 How many are the days of thy servant?
Psalms 39:5 Behold, thou hast made my days as an handbreadth; and mine age is as nothing before thee: verily every man at his best state is altogether vanity. Selah.
Psalms 90:12 So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.
Psalms 90:12 So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.
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Post by mystic on May 30, 2019 9:55:40 GMT -8
Great idea Jimmie but all of these people around here will have their usual cake and birthday song no matter what I do.
I would like to hear from each of you guys if you wish anyone in your circles Happy Birthday? if not, how do you respond whenever someone tells you it's their birthday?
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Post by alon on May 30, 2019 10:29:56 GMT -8
Yes, I do wish people happy birthday. Particularly the grandkids.
My wif's family is Jewish, and they do as well.
Dan C
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Post by Elizabeth on May 30, 2019 13:48:28 GMT -8
I wish people Happy Birthday. Birthdays in my family have always been low key so not much beyond that. That had nothing to do with religious beliefs, though. Point is, I don't have the same issue with parties for my kids as you. Birthday parties on Saturdays was one of the easier aspects as far as my beliefs go.
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Post by mystic on May 31, 2019 3:11:40 GMT -8
Birthday parties on Saturdays was one of the easier aspects as far as my beliefs go. Not understanding this Elizabeth, can you elaborate please. Does that mean you hold birthday parties for your kids during Sabbath? Guys, JW's don't believe in participating in any secular festivities, do MJ's see it as being ok to do take part in and help celebrate occasions like birthday parties, fathers/mothers day e.t.c? |
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Post by Elizabeth on May 31, 2019 5:22:41 GMT -8
Birthday parties on Saturdays was one of the easier aspects as far as my beliefs go. Not understanding this Elizabeth, can you elaborate please. Does that mean you hold birthday parties for your kids during Sabbath? We never really had birthday parties in my family, and my husband also didn't really celebrate them either so they never were an issue with thie kids. |
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