Post by R' Y'hoshua Moshe on Mar 8, 2013 16:29:12 GMT -8
Match Maker
A d’rash on parshat Chayei Sarah
B'resheet (Genesis) 23:1-25:18
By R' Reuel
In Orthodox Jewish culture there is no dating. Instead, marriages are arranged to help insure that a Biblical faith is safely delivered from one generation to another. These things are not just left to chance or to Cupid. As most of us have not been raised in an Orthodox community, if we are married, or have ever been married, most of us have been left to our own devices when it comes to selecting a wife. Although it has turned out well for several of us, many more have suffered for our choices. Often at a younger age or when we are spiritually immature we are not as qualified to choose a mate for ourselves as compared to a Godly and mature parent or elder within the community.
In parshat Chayei Sarah we see that Avraham takes this whole matter of marriage and match making very seriously. B'resheet (Genesis) 24:2 states, “Avraham said to the servant who had served him the longest, who was in charge of all he owned, "Put your hand under my thigh; because I want you to swear by HaShem, God of heaven and God of the earth, that you will not choose a wife for my son from among the women of the Kena'ani, among whom I am living; but that you will go to my homeland, to my kinsmen, to choose a wife for my son Yitz'chak (Isaac).". He was not about to let his son Yitz’chak (Isaac) fall in love with just any woman. Yitz’chak’s wife would be chosen for him. Although it seems like an antiquated system of selecting mates, this very well may be one of the reasons why Adonai chose Avraham to carry His message and covenant. It had to do with how Avraham would insure that there would be Godly children for generations to come.
In B'resheet (Genesis) 18:19 Adonai says, “For I have made myself known to him, so that he will give orders to his children and to his household after him to keep the way of HaShem and to do what is right and just, so that HaShem may bring about for Avraham what he has promised him.".
In Yermiyahu (Jeremiah) 29:5-6 we see that Adonai commands His people to choose wives and husbands for our sons and daughters. It states, "Build yourselves houses, and live in them. Plant gardens, and eat what they produce. Choose women to marry, and have sons and daughters. Choose wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage to men, so that they can have sons and daughters - increase your numbers there, don't decrease”.
An important part of spiritually preparing our children for a life of Godliness is helping them find a suitable mate. Avraham was afraid that his son Yitz’chak would marry someone from the pagan Kena’ani peoples or from the family that he had left long ago that didn’t serve the one true God; El Shaddai. An important part of spiritually preparing our children for life is helping them find a suitable mate. The people we marry wield great influence in our life either through persuasion or through pressure. Therefore, the people we marry will shape and influence our children. So, this matter of selecting the right person to marry is of utmost importance, and should not simply be left to selfish sexual desire or romantic notions. Yitz’chak could have fallen in love with any of the Kena’ani women, but his righteous father Avraham wouldn’t let that happen.
In our culture it is often taught that a person should marry whomever he or she falls in love with, but this alone is not a good plan. Being attracted to someone or “falling in love” isn’t always the best reason to marry someone. Often our emotions get in the way of our better judgment. When someone gives his or her heart to another it often leads to blindness…and if not done carefully it can lead to spiritual blindness. It is easy for someone to fall into the error of overlooking important spiritual matters of being equally yoked for what they call “love”. Because of the chemistry they have with the other person the believer will often ignore spiritual warning signs. Yermiyahu (Jeremiah) 17:9 tells us, “The heart is more deceitful than anything else and mortally sick. Who can fathom it?”. It should not be our heart that leads us to marry, but careful instruction given by the scriptures and the Godly elders within a family and community. Therefore, we should be careful to guard our heart. In Mishlei (Proverbs) 4:23 we are cautioned with the following words, “Above everything else, guard your heart; for it is the source of life's consequences”.
It has been stated that assimilation amongst the Jewish people has served to further accomplish that which Hitler set out to do…the eradication of the Jewish nation and identity. Assimilation is when someone becomes a part of another people group usually through some social motivator. One of the greatest ways that assimilation has taken place is through marriages with others whom do not share the faith. We are warned about un-kosher unions in 2Corinthians 6:14-15 where it states, “Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What agreement has Messiah with Belial? Or what portion has a believer with an unbeliever?”.
In 1Corinthians 7:39 we read about some instruction given to a wife who has a husband who dies, but more importantly for this lesson we see that a woman whom is a believer in Yeshua and the God of Yisrael is only free to marry another believer. It says, “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives, but if the husband dies she is free to marry anyone she wishes, provided he is a believer in the Lord.”. Furthermore, the
strictly warns us not to marry outside of the people of our faith. We are given the following instruction in Devarim (Deuteronomy) 7:3-4, “Don't intermarry with them -don't give your daughter to his son, and don't take his daughter for your son. For he will turn your children away from following me in order to serve other gods. If this happens, the anger of HaShem will flare up against you, and he will quickly destroy you.”.
This passage also says that we are to give our daughters to sons and take daughters for our sons. The text doesn’t say that the sons and daughters are to give themselves to one another. You see, God expects that fathers and mothers to have an active role in placing their children with spiritually viable mates. It is a God-given responsibility that has fell to the wayside in our modern-resistant culture. As parents one of our responsibilities is to find a suitable match for our children to one day marry. We should not simply leave this in the hands of our children whom are often not mature enough to make wise decisions in this area. In Hebrew, a match between a man and a woman is called a “shidduch”. And, in Judaism finding a “shidduch” for someone else is considered a great mitzvah (good deed). The matchmaker is called a “shadkan”. In our parashah Avraham selects one of his elder and trusted servants whom had served him the longest and who understood his faith and God to find a shidduch for his son Yitz’chak. And, although Avraham’s servant would act as the shadkan, ultimately Avraham trusted El Shaddai to help the shadkan succeed in his mission.
From the beginning with Adam and Chavah (Eve) Adonai has acted as the Shadkan Gadol (The Great Matchmaker). He didn’t select many women for Adam to choose for himself…no, Adonai carefully prepared one woman whom was meant for him to be his companion and helper. Adonai is still in the shadkan (matchmaker) business. For quite some time He has been preparing a bride for His Son Yeshua. And, this bride will be wearing a special fine linen, which she is characterized by. Revelation 19:6-8 says, “Then I heard what sounded like the roar of a huge crowd, like the sound of rushing waters, like loud peals of thunder, saying, "Halleluyah! HaShem, God of heaven's armies, has begun his reign! "Let us rejoice and be glad! Let us give him the glory! For the time has come for the wedding of the Lamb, and his Bride has prepared herself - fine linen, bright and clean has been given her to wear." ("Fine linen" means the righteous deeds of God's people.)”.
When we look for a wife or a husband for our children we should be careful that we only allow them to marry those whom are covered with the fine linen that comes only from God. And, we are told that this fine linen that we should be concerned with are “righteous deeds” that our Heavenly Father’s describes to us. For not just anybody can be considered our family. Our Master Yeshua teaches us about this. In Mattityahu (Matthew) 12:46-50 we read, “He was still speaking to the crowd when his mother and brothers appeared outside, asking to talk with him. But to the one who had informed him he replied, "Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?" Pointing to his talmidim (disciples), he said, "Look! Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does what my Father in heaven wants, that person is my brother and sister and mother.".
Our true spiritual family are those whom do what God wants. Those of us whom have come to understand that Adonai’s is His will for His people should strongly object to believers, and especially our children, whom seek to marry someone whom is not spiritual family. Because our emotions and hormones often get in the way of this we need people in our life that can help us judge whether or not someone is a suitable companion. This is important whether we are children, young men and women, or someone whom is older. We should guard our heart and be careful not to give it to someone before we are sure they will be a righteous companion. And, whether we are married or not, a righteous companion is someone who seeks to please God before they please their mate. Through careful planning and consideration let us wrap the bride of Messiah in the fine linen given to us by El Shaddai.
Shabbat shalom!
A d’rash on parshat Chayei Sarah
B'resheet (Genesis) 23:1-25:18
By R' Reuel
In Orthodox Jewish culture there is no dating. Instead, marriages are arranged to help insure that a Biblical faith is safely delivered from one generation to another. These things are not just left to chance or to Cupid. As most of us have not been raised in an Orthodox community, if we are married, or have ever been married, most of us have been left to our own devices when it comes to selecting a wife. Although it has turned out well for several of us, many more have suffered for our choices. Often at a younger age or when we are spiritually immature we are not as qualified to choose a mate for ourselves as compared to a Godly and mature parent or elder within the community.
In parshat Chayei Sarah we see that Avraham takes this whole matter of marriage and match making very seriously. B'resheet (Genesis) 24:2 states, “Avraham said to the servant who had served him the longest, who was in charge of all he owned, "Put your hand under my thigh; because I want you to swear by HaShem, God of heaven and God of the earth, that you will not choose a wife for my son from among the women of the Kena'ani, among whom I am living; but that you will go to my homeland, to my kinsmen, to choose a wife for my son Yitz'chak (Isaac).". He was not about to let his son Yitz’chak (Isaac) fall in love with just any woman. Yitz’chak’s wife would be chosen for him. Although it seems like an antiquated system of selecting mates, this very well may be one of the reasons why Adonai chose Avraham to carry His message and covenant. It had to do with how Avraham would insure that there would be Godly children for generations to come.
In B'resheet (Genesis) 18:19 Adonai says, “For I have made myself known to him, so that he will give orders to his children and to his household after him to keep the way of HaShem and to do what is right and just, so that HaShem may bring about for Avraham what he has promised him.".
In Yermiyahu (Jeremiah) 29:5-6 we see that Adonai commands His people to choose wives and husbands for our sons and daughters. It states, "Build yourselves houses, and live in them. Plant gardens, and eat what they produce. Choose women to marry, and have sons and daughters. Choose wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage to men, so that they can have sons and daughters - increase your numbers there, don't decrease”.
An important part of spiritually preparing our children for a life of Godliness is helping them find a suitable mate. Avraham was afraid that his son Yitz’chak would marry someone from the pagan Kena’ani peoples or from the family that he had left long ago that didn’t serve the one true God; El Shaddai. An important part of spiritually preparing our children for life is helping them find a suitable mate. The people we marry wield great influence in our life either through persuasion or through pressure. Therefore, the people we marry will shape and influence our children. So, this matter of selecting the right person to marry is of utmost importance, and should not simply be left to selfish sexual desire or romantic notions. Yitz’chak could have fallen in love with any of the Kena’ani women, but his righteous father Avraham wouldn’t let that happen.
In our culture it is often taught that a person should marry whomever he or she falls in love with, but this alone is not a good plan. Being attracted to someone or “falling in love” isn’t always the best reason to marry someone. Often our emotions get in the way of our better judgment. When someone gives his or her heart to another it often leads to blindness…and if not done carefully it can lead to spiritual blindness. It is easy for someone to fall into the error of overlooking important spiritual matters of being equally yoked for what they call “love”. Because of the chemistry they have with the other person the believer will often ignore spiritual warning signs. Yermiyahu (Jeremiah) 17:9 tells us, “The heart is more deceitful than anything else and mortally sick. Who can fathom it?”. It should not be our heart that leads us to marry, but careful instruction given by the scriptures and the Godly elders within a family and community. Therefore, we should be careful to guard our heart. In Mishlei (Proverbs) 4:23 we are cautioned with the following words, “Above everything else, guard your heart; for it is the source of life's consequences”.
It has been stated that assimilation amongst the Jewish people has served to further accomplish that which Hitler set out to do…the eradication of the Jewish nation and identity. Assimilation is when someone becomes a part of another people group usually through some social motivator. One of the greatest ways that assimilation has taken place is through marriages with others whom do not share the faith. We are warned about un-kosher unions in 2Corinthians 6:14-15 where it states, “Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What agreement has Messiah with Belial? Or what portion has a believer with an unbeliever?”.
In 1Corinthians 7:39 we read about some instruction given to a wife who has a husband who dies, but more importantly for this lesson we see that a woman whom is a believer in Yeshua and the God of Yisrael is only free to marry another believer. It says, “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives, but if the husband dies she is free to marry anyone she wishes, provided he is a believer in the Lord.”. Furthermore, the
strictly warns us not to marry outside of the people of our faith. We are given the following instruction in Devarim (Deuteronomy) 7:3-4, “Don't intermarry with them -don't give your daughter to his son, and don't take his daughter for your son. For he will turn your children away from following me in order to serve other gods. If this happens, the anger of HaShem will flare up against you, and he will quickly destroy you.”.This passage also says that we are to give our daughters to sons and take daughters for our sons. The text doesn’t say that the sons and daughters are to give themselves to one another. You see, God expects that fathers and mothers to have an active role in placing their children with spiritually viable mates. It is a God-given responsibility that has fell to the wayside in our modern
-resistant culture. As parents one of our responsibilities is to find a suitable match for our children to one day marry. We should not simply leave this in the hands of our children whom are often not mature enough to make wise decisions in this area. In Hebrew, a match between a man and a woman is called a “shidduch”. And, in Judaism finding a “shidduch” for someone else is considered a great mitzvah (good deed). The matchmaker is called a “shadkan”. In our parashah Avraham selects one of his elder and trusted servants whom had served him the longest and who understood his faith and God to find a shidduch for his son Yitz’chak. And, although Avraham’s servant would act as the shadkan, ultimately Avraham trusted El Shaddai to help the shadkan succeed in his mission.From the beginning with Adam and Chavah (Eve) Adonai has acted as the Shadkan Gadol (The Great Matchmaker). He didn’t select many women for Adam to choose for himself…no, Adonai carefully prepared one woman whom was meant for him to be his companion and helper. Adonai is still in the shadkan (matchmaker) business. For quite some time He has been preparing a bride for His Son Yeshua. And, this bride will be wearing a special fine linen, which she is characterized by. Revelation 19:6-8 says, “Then I heard what sounded like the roar of a huge crowd, like the sound of rushing waters, like loud peals of thunder, saying, "Halleluyah! HaShem, God of heaven's armies, has begun his reign! "Let us rejoice and be glad! Let us give him the glory! For the time has come for the wedding of the Lamb, and his Bride has prepared herself - fine linen, bright and clean has been given her to wear." ("Fine linen" means the righteous deeds of God's people.)”.
When we look for a wife or a husband for our children we should be careful that we only allow them to marry those whom are covered with the fine linen that comes only from God. And, we are told that this fine linen that we should be concerned with are “righteous deeds” that our Heavenly Father’s
describes to us. For not just anybody can be considered our family. Our Master Yeshua teaches us about this. In Mattityahu (Matthew) 12:46-50 we read, “He was still speaking to the crowd when his mother and brothers appeared outside, asking to talk with him. But to the one who had informed him he replied, "Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?" Pointing to his talmidim (disciples), he said, "Look! Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does what my Father in heaven wants, that person is my brother and sister and mother.".Our true spiritual family are those whom do what God wants. Those of us whom have come to understand that Adonai’s
is His will for His people should strongly object to believers, and especially our children, whom seek to marry someone whom is not spiritual family. Because our emotions and hormones often get in the way of this we need people in our life that can help us judge whether or not someone is a suitable companion. This is important whether we are children, young men and women, or someone whom is older. We should guard our heart and be careful not to give it to someone before we are sure they will be a righteous companion. And, whether we are married or not, a righteous companion is someone who seeks to please God before they please their mate. Through careful planning and consideration let us wrap the bride of Messiah in the fine linen given to us by El Shaddai.Shabbat shalom!
