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Post by Prodigal Girl on Sept 15, 2007 19:23:51 GMT -8
He thinks I am nuts to even be attending a Messianic synagogue. For Shabbat, I just try to take it easy, stay home, cook minimally if at all, refrain from regular work, and study. I also will go places with him if he wants though naturally am reluctant to shop or do other things that make others work. He is not too cool with all the changes, as he does not participate in anything spiritual. Should I even be trying in my situation? Or should I go back to the way it was? I try to limit it as much as I can so as to not put too much stress on the marriage.
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Post by Nachshon on Sept 16, 2007 4:08:36 GMT -8
Definately try. Remember that Yeshua told us that whoever does not abandon father or mother for His sake is not worthy of Him. Our relationship with Him supercedes all of our human relationships.
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Post by Prodigal Girl on Sept 16, 2007 5:17:16 GMT -8
Thank you, it is difficult going against the tide of all my church upbringing. Uncomfortable to say the least! As I said, I am not refusing to go places with him if he insists very strongly, but I do try to not encourage what I consider to be "unShabbat-like behavior". And yes, I do listen to present-day (Orthodox) halacha on the issue of Shabbat, though do not follow it strictly. I totally agree with not doing things that make others work. Since I mostly am just practicing in the home with what relates to me personally and my own work, that is where my emphasis is. I do not try to change or influence my family though the net result is it does effect them; since I am normally the only one who picks up or tells anyone to pick up, the house is an utter disaster by Saturday night for instance. Not that I am against picking up, but picking up after everyone else that day is just not how I choose the spend the day. Yesterday he complained that I was cloistered in our room all day; it was not that I was trying to, but the tv was going in the other room and the noise just interfered with the reading I was doing. I guess the big difference is that I used to go shopping on that day, now I don't.
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Post by Nachshon on Sept 16, 2007 6:27:25 GMT -8
I know it's hard for you. I can't imagine going through that. I am very blessed to have a family that is all together in this. I just want to encourage you in your walk to become  observant. Run the good race. Shalom uvrachot, Nachshon |
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Post by Mark on Sept 16, 2007 6:31:30 GMT -8
Hi Prodical, Sadly, your position is very common. It is more common for a woman to begin to seek out a relationship in the Messiah before her husband. It is good that you, at least, have a Messianic community in which to share fellowship, and that (I assume) your husband has given you leave to attend. It would be a good thing if you could sit down with your husband, possibly over dinner at a nice restaurant without the kids, to talk about where you are in your faith. Don't spring it on him- warn him in advance (like maybe a week) that you would like to talk about the Sabbath. Make sure that he understands that you are not trying to convert him or chastise him; but simply that you would like to be able to worship on Sabbath and what that means for you. When things are spelled out clearly, in most homes, the husband's reply is often, "Oh, is that all?" Yet, when there is no communication on the subject, often your behavior appears to be the tip of the ice berg... that if he allows you to worship in some ways, it will only lead to more demands. If your husband likes to read, I recommend a book called "Restoration" by Dr. Daniel Lancaster of Firstfruits of Zion www.ffoz.org . If he doesn't, just being gentle in your approach and loving in your spirit as you pursue righteousness within this relationship that you have is a very powerful witness. It's a woman's curse to feel the burden of needing to fix everything. It is a curse and your need to release yourself from that bondage. Find out from him what his expectations are and what can make the Sabbath work for both of you. You'll probably be surprised as to how accomodating he can be. The Sabbath is a joy. It is a holiday and to be delighted in. Who can have a problem with that? Sabbath means that you're not going to ask him to paint the fence or fix the drippy faucet. Sabbath means you can actually go out to the park together, sleep in, eat cold pizza for breakfast (hold the pepperoni). Sabbath is a kind of permission that most guys could only dream about... if they only understood what it means. |
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Post by Prodigal Girl on Sept 16, 2007 17:17:16 GMT -8
Thank you all. It sounds like I am more or less doing what you all recommend. I think I will keep trying to make Shabbat as pleasant as possible for him, as I can; which to me means get everything ready beforehand and then just relaxing on Shabbat. Maybe eventually he will go with the flow and just relax on that day. That would be nice. As you said, who wouldn't like Shabbat once they really learn it and do it?
I will read the book Restoration though I know he would not read it. The main thing is, he is having trouble adjusting to all the changes in me. But perhaps in time he will see it all as a positive thing.
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Post by MindyJo on Oct 12, 2007 2:41:08 GMT -8
I can totally relate. My husband and I came into the knowledge of about the same time. We attended a messianic congregation for a couple years and had things happen there that really damaged my husband. He relates all things Jewish and observant to that now and wants nothing to do with it. My heart aches for my husband back in this area. He almost has a disdain for . I am continually torn every biblical holiday and sabbath. I cry constantly for his salvation. I wonder? Was he just going with the flow, because if it was real for him would he be so easy to let go of ? I feel so alone, spiritual battles seem to be many lately. We are homeschooling our four children. I pray for their salvation, they accept all things I teach now (they are young), but they don't understand why dad does not. Any suggestions? My insides feel so torn, because when I do things...dancing in worship with the kids, speak the Hebrew blessings on Sabbath night, the biblical holidays, it seems he looks at me with disdain. He does allow it, but there is somewhat of a mocking spirit there, that makes me think it better if we don't do them sometimes. I might be posting this in the wrong area. But this posting thread was helpful, and any other ideas and suggestions, and just a whole lot of prayer for his salvation would be wonderful!!! It is very hard to be observant when hubby is not (or anyone else around you for that matter:) It is so easy to excuse yourself from certain things even though I know in my heart what G-d has commanded because your husband is not doing it. I have done a lot of praying before hand asking the Spirit to lead and guide our moedim and shabbats in all of our hearts, and it is amazing how G-d is so faithful to answer and allow ways that are not our ways. I just find myself weeping for my husband many, many nights! |
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Post by R' Y'hoshua Moshe on Oct 25, 2007 13:51:01 GMT -8
shalom sister, Continue to display a gentle and quiet spirit before your husband, which is precious in the sight of Adonai. Let him is see how the of Adonai can be so sweet. B’shem Yeshua, Re’uel |
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Post by chrisg on Mar 21, 2016 8:09:22 GMT -8
This is an old thread, but I felt compelled to add something to the discussion. I am a Gentile Christian and so is my husband. In the last several years, I have been swayed by certain doctrines, probably because I was looking for something that was not readily available in the evangelical churches we had attended. The last foray into something different was when I came across the Mennonites. They really seemed to be what I needed and appeared to be the closest to New Testament church teaching that I had come across at that time. There are no Mennonite churches in the UK (well, there weren't at that time - there is one now, but it is too far away for us to attend - 200 miles or so).
In the last few weeks, I have seen that if I want to be closer to what the New Testament teaches, then I have to understand it with 'Jewish eyes'. I did expect my husband to object to 'yet another' change, but he too seems to be looking for something closer to the biblical position than we have found up to now. In my research, I have been discussing the whole thing with him, as when I have ideas, he knows I need to talk them through in order to clarify my own thinking. I didn't realise he was changing too - until this morning.
Yesterday evening, he went to church as he usually does (I went in the morning; I don't usually attend in the evening). This morning he related a conversation he had had with one of the elders:
Elder: Are you doing anything special for easter? (The UK has two public holidays around easter time - the Friday and the Monday before and after 'easter Sunday')
Husband: No, we don't 'do' easter.
That was not something I had expected at all! But it does show that God works even when we don't expect it, or are not looking for it. I trust that those who posted above have come to a peaceful solution with regard to their husbands and Sabbath keeping. My husband and I still have that bridge to cross
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Post by alon on Mar 21, 2016 9:27:20 GMT -8
You are extremely fortunate that your husband is open to the truth. It is difficult enough being isolated from other true Messianic believers. But living in a divided household is double tough. Hopefully you can go at a pace that suits you both and talk this through with your husband as you go.
Dan C |
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observant. Run the good race.
