Marriage

[faith]

What is the proper interpretation for submit in Ephesians 5:21-24?

Faith

[lawrenceofisrael]

It says:"Women submit to your husband as to the Lord". As far as i know this means that the husband makes the important decision and has some sort of veto right ;-) in the daily situations.

This is not to oppress the woman (of course not) but rather to free her from stress and trouble.

[Mark]

There are a couple of things that I should acknowledge before jumping into this very sensitive topic. The first thing is that you asked the question regarding a word found in the Greek texts written to a gentile audience in the forum discussing Judaic thought. So, the question appears to be asking specifically of the Hebraic understanding of marriage which would have been altogether different from that of the Greek thinking, cosmopolitan Ephesians Paul was addressing.

The second thing that needs to be acknowledged is that you, Faith, are a woman whom I am assuming is married. This question generally arises when a husband and wife have differences that need reconcilliation- and the hip pocket assumption is that the woman must dismiss her own pursuit of what she understands as right and righteousness and get on board with whatever her husband is doing. I'm afraid it's not that simple.

First, the word "submit" found in Ephesians 5:21 and 22, and the word "subject unto" in verse 24 (King James) is the word hoopo-taso which is a compound verb which means to get under (hoopo) the orderly arrangement of things (taso).

In Genesis 2:18, Adonai looked down on Adam and said, "It is not good for man to be alone." The Hebrew word for "alone" is pretty uncomplementary. It has the visible representation of a tree branch that has fallen off the tree or of a tree that has lost all it's branches... a stump. God looked down at Adam and said, "This kid needs help."

The word "help-meet" is the word "ezer" which means to render assistance, to hold one up, or to protect. It sounds sort of like the name Eliezar for good reason because it is from the word ezer that Moses named his second son, giving the reason, "for the God of my father was my help and delivered me from the sword of Pharaoh."

The Hebrew equivelant to the Greek word hoopo-taso is a compound of the words "nathan" (to give) and "yod" hand. Literally meaning to give a hand.

The idea of submitting to one's husband, then, in the context of Ephesians chapter 5 is that wives need to figure out what direction the husband is going and get behind him. Yet, to give this answer so simply is to ignore the rest of the text. First, he says "submitting yourselves to one another in the fear of God." This key statement is a repeat of the idea Paul shares with the Philippians in Philippians 2:3-4, "Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others as better than himself, looking out not only for his own interests but also to the interests of others."

Now when we come to Ephesians 5:22, we see that the wife is not given a greater burden of responsibility but a lesser one. While the husband is commanded to be about the business of considering the needs of the entire community, the wife is to focus singularly upon the needs of her husband.

The role of husband and wife is described as a parallel description of our Messiah and the Church. Just as Messiah is the "roash" (the head) of the Church, the husband is the head of the family. Just a little experiment: try walking a straight line while looking over your shoulder. It's not possible. You will veer in the direction that the head is facing. In the same way, the family will always veer in the direction husband is focused upon. If the wife's agenda is to change that direction (and the husband is not interested) the result is confusion (dizziness) and the family will inevitably fall. If the wife steers the body in the direction that the head is facing, the family will proceed in a straight line efficiently. Like the Messiah, the husband is designed to be the sotair (the savior or the one who makes safe) the family. If the wife steps out from under this protection, turning his head, he cannot perform this role, He is confused. Since it is his God-given design to function in this capacity, when the wife inhibits him, trying to turn him one way or another, the result is often rather hostile. For this reason, the woman's best bet is to get behind him and support him in all things.

The assumption taken from this passage is that the wife has to do everything that her husband tells her to do. The implication is there, to some degree; however, it is not necessarily the case. When Abigail went to David in 1st Samuel 25, she was submitting to (supporting) her husband though absolutely contradicting his wishes. Ideally this should not be the case; however, when the truth was made known, Nabal was confronted with his own foolishness, not the rebellion of his wife. Yet, I wouldn't be too quick to use this as justification for whatever circumstances you may be in.

In most cases, giving the husband the support he needs while pursuing your own relationship with Messiah is enough to give him the opportunity and clarity to move in a right direction eventually. Paul addresses this in 1st Corinthians 7, specifically verse 14, where he declares that the unbelieving husband or wife is rubbed off upon by the obedient spouse.

It is no different than the man who must remain employed and respect the godless employer, fulfilling whatever obligation he has that doesn't contradict his relayionship with Adonai.