Post by alon on Dec 18, 2019 17:43:18 GMT -8
Name of Par’shah: Vayeshev- He Continued Living
Par’shah- Gen 37:1–40:23
Haftara- Amos 2:6-3:8
D’rash: There really are no commandments. But there are more principles and instructions in both the
portion and the haftara than could be adequately told here. Literally. I once did a 10 page essay just on Joseph being sold into slavery, and it was hard to keep it to that (which was the maximum allowed in the assignment). It might be worth doing some excerpts from that essay here. Quotes are all either from Pastor Ed Cole, designated (EC), or The Forgotten Blessing by Aaron Fruh (AF)- a book I cannot recommend enough.
Remember the story, how Laban tricked Ya’akov, giving him Leah to marry instead of Rachel, who he loved. So he worked an extra seven years for Rachel. Elohim, seeing her plight made Leah fertile while Rachel was childless for a time. Leah bore four sons, Reuven, Shimon, Levi, and Yehudah. Poor Leah thought having children would bring love to a lifeless relationship. In reality, it just brings more stress and tension, resentment and heartache.
Rachel was angry with Ya’akov because she had no children, and he reacted angrily to her. Then an unhealthy spirit of competition developed between the women. Rachel gave Ya’akov her maid Bilhah as a surrogate to bear him children. And she bore him Dan and Naftali.
Leah reacted predictably, giving Zilpah to Ya’akov as a fourth wife. She bore him Gad and Asher. Rachel, still herself infertile bartered time with Ya’akov for some mandrakes from Leah to help her conceive. The exchange was less than cordial. Consider Leah, how bad her pligh was that she had to barter the right to sleep with her husband. But she held out hope in a hopeless situation. Yet she bore a son, Zevulun, and a daughter, Dinah.
Rachel finally bears a son, Yoseph, but she dies in childbirth. Ya’akov loves him more than all the others, showing him special favor. Our parashah picks up the story here.
Gen 37:2b (ESV) “Joseph, being seventeen years old, was pasturing the flock with his brothers. He was a boy with the sons of Bilhah and Zilpah, his father's wives. And Joseph brought a bad report of them to their father.”
So we see here a boy already developing a sense of right and wrong, and the courage to face the wrong. However we may be witnessing the actions of one spoiled and thinking himself under the protection of his father; one naive enough to think he could escape the consequences of carrying tales (lashon harah).
Gen 37:3 (ESV) Now Israel loved Joseph more than any other of his sons, because he was the son of his old age. And he made him a robe with long sleeves.
This verse is key. In the entire narrative we see the contrast of children raised in an environment of hostility, a good measure of apathy towards their mothers, and by extension to their sons; and those raised in a living, caring environment. Joseph, and later Benyamin received all their fathers love and attention. The others were left wanting. In all the story the main variable is Yoseph, his attitude toward the sub-family groups and the environment this created in which the children were raised.
Gen 37:4 (ESV) But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peacefully to him.
The story of Yoseph’s early childhood culminates in the ultimate act of aggression and mistreatment by his brothers. They capture him and sitting around the open mouth of a sistern where they had imprisoned him plotted to kill him. But then they relented and sold him to a Midienite caravan. They deceived Ya’akov into thinking Yoseph was dead, then had to watch the unconsolable anguish that caused.
We are not told, but can well imagine the turmoil of the brothers as they saw their father’s grief in consequence of their actions. Their emotions would have vacillated from grief and
to fear and anger at their father and for Yoseph, then to apathy and callousness for the father who never really loved them and the fate of a brother who they saw as having stole that love.
Insights From Other Sources:
Character is developed in the setting a person is raised in. “One of the basic principles of life isthat the characteristics of the kingdom eminate from the character of the king.” Nowhere is this truer than in the family. “We can easily be conditioned to failure by environmental circumstances. What happens to us in our earlier years creates images and causes us anxiety, stress, and tension later in life. … Every image created has the potential for good or for harm.” (EC)
“There are millions who have been crippled by receiving verbal abuse from a parent or caregiver. This cursing takes two forms: One is the destruction of verbal assault … The other is the devastating effect of lack of speech altogether, … When a person never receives affirmation … his inner confidence slips away in the silence and the void fils with feelings of worthlessness. Verbal blessing and affirmation are emotional building blocks vital for personal growth and development.” (AF) “Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.” (Prov 11:25)
Some of the emotions and behaviors of victims of an abusive childhood are listed by AF:
- sense of unworthiness, worthlesness
- conditioning to expect abuse later in life
- defilement of identity,, anger
- feeling defective
- fear of emotion, of losing control, of trying and/or failing
- difficulty of saying no
- difficulty of making close friends
- avoidance of need or dependence
- difficulty asking for help
- feeling of being tolerated rather than chosen
- restlesness
- compulsively drawn to schemes
“The greatest thing a father can do for his children is love their mother.” (EC) Ya’akov did not love any of his wives except Rachel. His attitude toward them was also evident in his treatment of his sons. All his love was placed on the one sub-family unit of Rachel, Yoseph, and Benyamin. All the negative emotions and attitudes from the list above were probably evident in the other children suffering neglect. “When you do not forgive someone’s sin against you, you bear that sin; you carry it. You also make the same mistake again and again with person after person.” (EC) In the entire narrative there is no evidence the children of Ya’akov’s neglect ever forgave him. Gen. 50:15-21 shows that even after all Yoseph did to demonstrate his love and forgiveness for them, they in their own latent hatred and jealousy had not forgiven him or their father. So they feared Yoseph after their father passed.
“Sins are not hereditary, they are unforgiven, and, in their retention passed from … generation to generation.” And so the sins of Ya’akov were retained by the sons of Leah and both handmaidens. “You keep what you do not release.” (EC)
“Hearing from God does not depend on age, but on relationship.” (EC) “ A person who feels worthless and ashamed has a difficult time trusting that a father in heaven loves him.” (AF)
Yosef’s brother might actually have been better off without Ya’akov in their lives. “Researchers found children in single parent homes led by a mother were better off than in homes with an unconcerned father.” Add to this that all three women were raised in the household of Laban, and so would have carried and ultimately passed on considerable baggage of their own; you now have the elements in place for a very destructive early child development in the three unloved sub-households. This negative early development would have effected every relationship in their lives.
Still, how could his brothers have gotten to the point of conspiring to kill Yoseph? “Developing intimate relationships later in life is difficult if a person was not nurtured and loved at a young age.” They:
- feel no pull to form intimate relationships
- little pleasure in being close to or with others
- have few, if any friends
- are distant, with no bonds to family
- are self absorbed and aloof
So there was no pull to form intimate relationships, especially with family. “Their portrait of Joseph was colored by their own selfish, lustful, petty spirits … Joseph faced jealousy, anger, hatred, envy and slander. He was betrayed, ignored, rejected, and humiliated.” (EC) And the list goes on for several paragraphs.
The actions of all Ya’akov’s children illustrates that the basic foundation upon which character is built is developed in the environment of early childhood. “Empathy, caring, sharing, and capacity to love and a host of other characteristics of a healthy, happy and productive person are related to the core attachment capabilities which are formed in infancy and early childhood.” (AF)
“Depression is often caused by resentment or a sense of loss.” The brothers childhood would have been marred by feelings of rejection and being treated guilty of unspecified crimes while innocent. “Next to actual rejection, the most difficult thing for men to suffer is being treated as guilty when they are innocent.” (EC) Yoseph’s brothers would have felt they were unjustly punished by loss of a father’s love, and they would have probably seen Yoseph as the cause. They harbored “deep seated resentments that eventually became real hostility.” (EC) These resentments culminated in the ultimate act of hostility; the seizure of and conspiracy to kill Yoseph by his brothers. If not for HaShem’s interventionYoseph would not have survived to be taken to Mitzrayim, then refined and worked by the masters hand to become a leader who God used to save Yoseph’s family and all Egypt. We can observe the difference in how Yoseph handled the same adversities: accused and punished when he was in the right by his brothers and Potepher’s wife, abandoned in a cistern, then in prison. Yet in all his character rose to the top.
The story of Yoseph is as much about how to train up children to be well adjusted and successful and potentially good leaders as it is about leadership itself. It is a contrast of children raised in a loving household, and those raised in neglectful, unhappy households.
Dan C
Par’shah- Gen 37:1–40:23
Haftara- Amos 2:6-3:8
D’rash: There really are no commandments. But there are more principles and instructions in both the
portion and the haftara than could be adequately told here. Literally. I once did a 10 page essay just on Joseph being sold into slavery, and it was hard to keep it to that (which was the maximum allowed in the assignment). It might be worth doing some excerpts from that essay here. Quotes are all either from Pastor Ed Cole, designated (EC), or The Forgotten Blessing by Aaron Fruh (AF)- a book I cannot recommend enough.Remember the story, how Laban tricked Ya’akov, giving him Leah to marry instead of Rachel, who he loved. So he worked an extra seven years for Rachel. Elohim, seeing her plight made Leah fertile while Rachel was childless for a time. Leah bore four sons, Reuven, Shimon, Levi, and Yehudah. Poor Leah thought having children would bring love to a lifeless relationship. In reality, it just brings more stress and tension, resentment and heartache.
Rachel was angry with Ya’akov because she had no children, and he reacted angrily to her. Then an unhealthy spirit of competition developed between the women. Rachel gave Ya’akov her maid Bilhah as a surrogate to bear him children. And she bore him Dan and Naftali.
Leah reacted predictably, giving Zilpah to Ya’akov as a fourth wife. She bore him Gad and Asher. Rachel, still herself infertile bartered time with Ya’akov for some mandrakes from Leah to help her conceive. The exchange was less than cordial. Consider Leah, how bad her pligh was that she had to barter the right to sleep with her husband. But she held out hope in a hopeless situation. Yet she bore a son, Zevulun, and a daughter, Dinah.
Rachel finally bears a son, Yoseph, but she dies in childbirth. Ya’akov loves him more than all the others, showing him special favor. Our parashah picks up the story here.
Gen 37:2b (ESV) “Joseph, being seventeen years old, was pasturing the flock with his brothers. He was a boy with the sons of Bilhah and Zilpah, his father's wives. And Joseph brought a bad report of them to their father.”
So we see here a boy already developing a sense of right and wrong, and the courage to face the wrong. However we may be witnessing the actions of one spoiled and thinking himself under the protection of his father; one naive enough to think he could escape the consequences of carrying tales (lashon harah).
Gen 37:3 (ESV) Now Israel loved Joseph more than any other of his sons, because he was the son of his old age. And he made him a robe with long sleeves.
This verse is key. In the entire narrative we see the contrast of children raised in an environment of hostility, a good measure of apathy towards their mothers, and by extension to their sons; and those raised in a living, caring environment. Joseph, and later Benyamin received all their fathers love and attention. The others were left wanting. In all the story the main variable is Yoseph, his attitude toward the sub-family groups and the environment this created in which the children were raised.
Gen 37:4 (ESV) But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peacefully to him.
The story of Yoseph’s early childhood culminates in the ultimate act of aggression and mistreatment by his brothers. They capture him and sitting around the open mouth of a sistern where they had imprisoned him plotted to kill him. But then they relented and sold him to a Midienite caravan. They deceived Ya’akov into thinking Yoseph was dead, then had to watch the unconsolable anguish that caused.
We are not told, but can well imagine the turmoil of the brothers as they saw their father’s grief in consequence of their actions. Their emotions would have vacillated from grief and
to fear and anger at their father and for Yoseph, then to apathy and callousness for the father who never really loved them and the fate of a brother who they saw as having stole that love. Insights From Other Sources:
Character is developed in the setting a person is raised in. “One of the basic principles of life isthat the characteristics of the kingdom eminate from the character of the king.” Nowhere is this truer than in the family. “We can easily be conditioned to failure by environmental circumstances. What happens to us in our earlier years creates images and causes us anxiety, stress, and tension later in life. … Every image created has the potential for good or for harm.” (EC)
“There are millions who have been crippled by receiving verbal abuse from a parent or caregiver. This cursing takes two forms: One is the destruction of verbal assault … The other is the devastating effect of lack of speech altogether, … When a person never receives affirmation … his inner confidence slips away in the silence and the void fils with feelings of worthlessness. Verbal blessing and affirmation are emotional building blocks vital for personal growth and development.” (AF) “Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.” (Prov 11:25)
Some of the emotions and behaviors of victims of an abusive childhood are listed by AF:
- sense of unworthiness, worthlesness
- conditioning to expect abuse later in life
- defilement of identity,
, anger- feeling defective
- fear of emotion, of losing control, of trying and/or failing
- difficulty of saying no
- difficulty of making close friends
- avoidance of need or dependence
- difficulty asking for help
- feeling of being tolerated rather than chosen
- restlesness
- compulsively drawn to schemes
“The greatest thing a father can do for his children is love their mother.” (EC) Ya’akov did not love any of his wives except Rachel. His attitude toward them was also evident in his treatment of his sons. All his love was placed on the one sub-family unit of Rachel, Yoseph, and Benyamin. All the negative emotions and attitudes from the list above were probably evident in the other children suffering neglect. “When you do not forgive someone’s sin against you, you bear that sin; you carry it. You also make the same mistake again and again with person after person.” (EC) In the entire narrative there is no evidence the children of Ya’akov’s neglect ever forgave him. Gen. 50:15-21 shows that even after all Yoseph did to demonstrate his love and forgiveness for them, they in their own latent hatred and jealousy had not forgiven him or their father. So they feared Yoseph after their father passed.
“Sins are not hereditary, they are unforgiven, and, in their retention passed from … generation to generation.” And so the sins of Ya’akov were retained by the sons of Leah and both handmaidens. “You keep what you do not release.” (EC)
“Hearing from God does not depend on age, but on relationship.” (EC) “ A person who feels worthless and ashamed has a difficult time trusting that a father in heaven loves him.” (AF)
Yosef’s brother might actually have been better off without Ya’akov in their lives. “Researchers found children in single parent homes led by a mother were better off than in homes with an unconcerned father.” Add to this that all three women were raised in the household of Laban, and so would have carried and ultimately passed on considerable baggage of their own; you now have the elements in place for a very destructive early child development in the three unloved sub-households. This negative early development would have effected every relationship in their lives.
Still, how could his brothers have gotten to the point of conspiring to kill Yoseph? “Developing intimate relationships later in life is difficult if a person was not nurtured and loved at a young age.” They:
- feel no pull to form intimate relationships
- little pleasure in being close to or with others
- have few, if any friends
- are distant, with no bonds to family
- are self absorbed and aloof
So there was no pull to form intimate relationships, especially with family. “Their portrait of Joseph was colored by their own selfish, lustful, petty spirits … Joseph faced jealousy, anger, hatred, envy and slander. He was betrayed, ignored, rejected, and humiliated.” (EC) And the list goes on for several paragraphs.
The actions of all Ya’akov’s children illustrates that the basic foundation upon which character is built is developed in the environment of early childhood. “Empathy, caring, sharing, and capacity to love and a host of other characteristics of a healthy, happy and productive person are related to the core attachment capabilities which are formed in infancy and early childhood.” (AF)
“Depression is often caused by resentment or a sense of loss.” The brothers childhood would have been marred by feelings of rejection and being treated guilty of unspecified crimes while innocent. “Next to actual rejection, the most difficult thing for men to suffer is being treated as guilty when they are innocent.” (EC) Yoseph’s brothers would have felt they were unjustly punished by loss of a father’s love, and they would have probably seen Yoseph as the cause. They harbored “deep seated resentments that eventually became real hostility.” (EC) These resentments culminated in the ultimate act of hostility; the seizure of and conspiracy to kill Yoseph by his brothers. If not for HaShem’s interventionYoseph would not have survived to be taken to Mitzrayim, then refined and worked by the masters hand to become a leader who God used to save Yoseph’s family and all Egypt. We can observe the difference in how Yoseph handled the same adversities: accused and punished when he was in the right by his brothers and Potepher’s wife, abandoned in a cistern, then in prison. Yet in all his character rose to the top.
The story of Yoseph is as much about how to train up children to be well adjusted and successful and potentially good leaders as it is about leadership itself. It is a contrast of children raised in a loving household, and those raised in neglectful, unhappy households.
Dan C
