Advice and chesed

[mystic]

You are very mistaken here Elizabeth. I do not have any issues with God but what you don't realize is why Autistic kids and caregivers view God the way they do. Hopefully you will never have to go through what we caregivers go though in your lifetime, I don't wish this on ANY parent but as mentioned , you will never EVER know what we have endured or deal with with Psychotic behavior and suicide and other issues so you should have compassion and understanding for caregivers who have to deal with major life threatening issues concerning their kids!

No I don't excuse their beliefs but I have great compassion for them because I HAVE LIVED IT and still do. They think there is no God otherwise why would they be in this situation? I am one of the lucky ones I always say because instead of turning away from God I chose to do the opposite that day outside of Long Island Jewish Mental Hospital when all hope had gone from inside of me. I walked outside that day, I had no feeling at all in me as this was Mike's 4th Hospitalization and without even thinking I looked up at the sky and uttered these words "God, if you will give me back my son I will devote the rest of my life to you", that was all I said and he answered!

When you hear caregivers making statements like "I wish I was dead so I won't have to live seeing my child go through this" or "I wish my child was dead so he/she wouldn't have to go through this" or "why did God give me this child?". Only when any parent reaches the point of utter frustration and hopelessness will you hear those words which are very common. So yes, believers should have understanding and compassion for these people and THAT guys is the precise reason why I had created the Prayer and Hope for Autism Families Support group here in NY.

We now have have close to 500 members and yes I do get frustrated whenever I try to encourage any parent to use prayer for help and they don't do it. Whenever that happens I always have to beg God for forgiveness, regroup and keep trying to help them, praying for them even though they don't want the prayer.

[Elizabeth]

I am not mistaken that G-d is the only hope for these people and their situations. I am not mistaken that it will only get worse if they don't realize that. I am not mistaken that hasatsn is acting to use what they are enduring to make them even more hopeless and to utterly destroy them, and I'm not lacking in compassion to tell that truth based on the reality that you have involved G-d in their lives on this level, and I know Him.

I have an autistic daughter, and I see the difference when G-d is included in truth and compassion and when he's not. Compassion without truth is exploited and becomes a part of the problem. Compassion and truth result in real change including understanding, compassion and hope on their part. That's what I've seen and know.

I myself had voices in my head trying to talk me into killing myself because there was no other way out, and I know G-d was the only One who could reach me through that to help me find a way out. I can't tell you how He did it, because He was the only One Who knew what He was doing. So I am speaking to what I know about Him.

You are involving yourself in people's spiritual battles, and you need to understand what you're up against and what your role is. You can't truly help these people the way you want to without rightly regarding G-d before and for them. If the people you are working with are strugling through what you say they are, without G-d they won't overcome it. This sounds harsh but it's true, your compassion won't make a bit of difference in that, especially if it is in any way furthering their lack of understanding regarding that. You're involving yourself in their lives on a spiritual level and they are spiritually vulnerable. So if you in any way try to represent G-d as the source of their salvation, you need to know who the enemy is, you need to regard G-d rightly, and you need to understand your level of responsibility for them before G-d for the spiritual truth you represent to them.

Yes we are to be compassionate. In some situations that may just mean understanding, but you're involving G-d in this and so your compassion must then also be in truth or you will just cause them more confusion. That's my concern.

I only know what you've said on here, and what red flags I've pointed out to you. Up to you to decide if they're relevant. I do have more experience with this then you give me credit for, and I do know Who can help and save them. I'll just put it plainly. My concern based on your posts is you are taking on a spiritual role in their life, but are compromising truth in the process because it's hard to be truthful in compassion. In my experience, that's only achieved through G-d, but it's also the only way to do what it seems you're trying to do.

If I'm wrong then I really don't understand what you're doing,  and I apologize.

[alon]

The two of you share a problem I cannot even begin to understand. So I won't comment on the issue of autism. And even upstate New Yorkers think NYC is on another planet, so mystic I'm sure they think differently from the rest of us. However there is almost any and every thing imaginable in NYC. So searching for a Messianic community you can be a part of might be worth the effort. At least it would get you out of the house for a bit. And you don't have to go straight back home. Go to a park or find something else.

You said the service itself would only get you away for a couple of hours. Not necessarily. The service at the parent synagogue of this forum lasts from 3 to 3 1/2 hrs. Then they have Oneg afterwards every Shabbat. That is like a potluck, so it takes up much of the afternoon. Given however long the subway ride is going and coming back and that would be most of the day away even if you don't go for a walk. So it's possible you might find something that works for you. If not you may have to get creative and find something. I don't live there, so I don't know what all there is to do or everything that might interest you. But if things are that bad at home and there really is nothing you can do about it then it is up to you to find something. And if you must spend money to go there I am sure God will understand, just as He does when we where I am have to drive since we are in a rural area.

Everyone here just does what we can. We've made a commitment to uphold the entire Bible, especially . But most just cannot keep it all, and we all struggle with those instances when we must break Shabbat. We all must rightly judge that line between have to violate a commandment and just want to do something really bad. But it is to each of us to make those decisions for ourselves. Just like it is to each of us to witness to those God places in front of us and to search for a place to worship, and to decide if a congregation is a good or bad place to be. We ca give each other advice and encouragement, but no one here can give another absolution. Not can we tell another what to do.